Spaceship - The Rainbow Baby

September 21, 2017

I remember the day we told Kasen he was going to be a big brother. He was so excited, and gave tiny the name of "Spaceship". It fit perfect, because it felt like something out of this world. Trey and I started trying for our second baby right before our wedding (2013). We wanted to have kids ideally around three years apart. Our first 6 months of trying was all fun and games, but then it started to feel like it was a chore. Negative pregnancy test after another, we started to accept one was fine. A few months after this we decided if it happened, cool if it didn't fine. Well that month it happened. I was so sick, morning sickness, evening sickness, every miserable pregnancy thing you can think of, I had it. We knew immediately. We made the appointments with the OB to confirm, and we heard the little things heart beat. We were at an ultimate high, 2014 was going to be a great year! Or so we thought. Being the responsible mom by taking my vitamins, keeping up with exercise, and forcing myself to eat to try to make me feel normal. At about 6 weeks later, I felt normal, like too normal. We had an appointment later that week but I called and requested it to be moved up. I explained to the nurse "Something isn't right, I can feel it". We went in hoping this was nothing, but our fears became a reality when they went to take a listen. She couldn't find the heartbeat. She immediately did an ultrasound, and the baby was lost. Although there was a little human still there, there was no heart. Crushed. 

 

I called into work that day, as we went during our lunch break. Trey held me while I cried, as this was not our first miscarriage but third. During that time I had an amazing boss, who gave me a few days to myself to recover and digest the news. This miscarriage for some reason was the hardest. This was a child we were ready for, but it just was not in our cards. Trey and I moved on, we did not speak of trying, but deep down we knew how each other felt. During this time other friends got pregnant, and to be kind they tried to downplay their pregnancies, which was sweet, but I was just as excited for them as if it was mine. Because let's be honest, I am holding their sweet baby at some point, and going to love theirs as much as I love mine. In September 2014, we had another positive, and it was awful timing. Trey was insanely sick and eventually we got that diagnosis that I knew was coming. I cried not only because Trey had cancer, but because I was pregnant and I did not want to be. I wanted a child but the timing for us was not working. My body was just as stressed as I was and I lost the baby very early. 

 

Fast forward to February 2015, Trey and I talked and decided we were done, one was perfect. 2014 was a lot for our family. I made the call to the OB to get an IUD the following week. Well for giggles the day before my appointment I decided to take our last pregnancy test.... It was ASTONISHINGLY positive, as soon as my pee touched the stick, it lit up. All I could do was laugh, hysterically. I called for Trey but Kasen was the first one in. I gave him the test, and said go give this to daddy. Kasen ran to daddy and said "Daddy what's this?". Trey had the same reaction as me, and the same as when he found out about Kasen. He told Kasen, "This means you are going to be a big brother". He came back to the bathroom tears in his eyes, and a smile from ear to ear, and gave me the best hug I have ever received. It was a breath of fresh air. We went through some extra precautions and tests due to Trey's chemo and radiation, as getting pregnant added an extra risk with his treatments. The pregnancy was ROUGH, but in general I felt great and he was healthy. That was all I could ask for.

 

It is only acceptable that our RAINBOW baby is the most strong willed. I mean he was the toughest to get here, right? Not only is this little nugget stubborn, he is a health hazard, from allergies, forever catching some type of virus, and delayed speech due to hearing issues, this kid has really given us a run for our money since day 1. However the miscarriages, nausea, and rough infancy were all well worth it.This month Paxton just started talking, and hearing his little voice say"mama mama mamaaaa" makes my heart flutter. He is a total mama's boy, and I could not be more stoked on it.Our teeny tiny completes our family. This animal loving, helmet wearing, choo choo adoring, wild child is worth every early morning wake up. Two years ago today we welcomed a 7 lb. 12 oz., 24 inches (60.96 CM), bundle of joy into our arms. We are glad you landed safely, spaceship.

 

Happy Birthday Paxton James Thompson! 

 

 

 

 

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