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Selfish Parenting

October 2, 2017

I'm a selfish parent, I have no shame in admitting it. I love my kids. I do everything I do to be able to provide for them. However, I love myself (and my sanity) just as much. Before you assume this means I am a bad parent, it doesn't. It just means I still value myself and have held on to my identity outside of being "M-O-M". There is absolutely nothing wrong with being selfish. I am sure you are already thinking "I'm not a selfish parent"... But aren't you? Think about it, when you choose places to go out to eat for example. Do you choose Chuck E' Cheese because that would be "fun" for your kid, or do you go to that awesome taco shop down the street? Do you give them what they want ALL the time? Definitely not, that isn't parenting or how life works. We all manipulate our kids, and strive to mold our kids into other humans we would like to see out in this world. We want them to take pleasure in the same things we enjoy. That is the goal after all. To raise decent humans, and stay in tune with our children all the through adulthood.

I learned from the best, I can totally blame my shoe addiction on my mom, and my love for travel on my dad. I love being an egotistical parent, I love showing my kids things that I love. Watching them grow, learn, and love the same things we do, it gives me so much joy. I love that both of my kids are already "foodies". If you asked Kasen what his favorite food was at a year old, he would have told you "Samen and broccleee", because that is what we enjoy and provide. The boys love learning how food is made, whether it is grown in our back yard or brought off a fisherman's boat, they are following Trey and I's footsteps. When we plan our vacations out for the following year, I am definitely thinking "Where do I want to go?" every single time. From ski trips to Utah or to a quick walk down to the beach, it is for me. Even when we do our theme park trips, it isn't just for the kids, it is for the kid inside me. My egocentric needs carry over into our daily routines. We break down pieces of the house, and the boys have to help. I am not going to clean all by myself, when in all truths the mess is theirs. Not just daily chores, but the famous nap time/bed time. Kids have been crazy and our day has been LOONNNGG, parents can all relate on this one, "Time for quiet time". No shame on those days moving my kids bedtime up 30 minutes, or an hour. I have no problem admitting I "control" my kids, but I prefer to look at it as steering my kids in the right direction. There is no perfect parent, or perfect child so be selfish. Set time for yourself, and enjoy that time. Plan that GNO,  fit in your daily gym time, or that much needed long over due massage (hint hint). Trey and I set aside two hours at the end of the day, if we stay awake long enough, to ourselves. What we do with that time is up to us, but that time is ours. Our time is VALUABLE, you are valuable. 

 

 

I know my time is limited on this, because soon the boys will be able to make their own decisions, hopefully good ones. However until then, we will family vacay hard, lego/craft diligently, camp out, and have our loved living room dance parties. But for now...

 

 

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