Cancer sucks. It doesn’t care if you are a 70 year old man who just booked his number one bucket list trip; or a new born baby to a family that has been trying to conceive for years. No matter who you are or what type it is; cancer royally sucks.
Once one is diagnosed with what feels like a death sentence (at first), emotions are at an all time high. Rage, anger, love, sadness, hatred, all and anything in between occurs at the same time with the announcement “You have cancer”. From experience everyone copes with this differently. Some voice their anger/frustrations, some say they are too busy to be of any assistance, and others drop what they are doing and drive/fly fourteen hours to see you. All of these emotions are natural; do not be ashamed to have such feelings, whether dark or light.
For those who are new to the battle and those who are veterans, we understand the pain. You are not alone. Give into your feelings. There were nights after Trey diagnosis that I cried and cried until I fell asleep. Having to aide your husband to use the bathroom or wondering if he would ever be able walk on his own, was hard. There were days that I thought “This is my life. How did this happen? Why us?” I was not ashamed and still to this day do not regret my fear “One day I will be a single mom.” They were and still are valid fears.
For those who are new to this fight, reach out. Do not do this alone, it is not worth it. Talk to someone, anyone. We found help through support groups. It was nice to know there were others out there like us. Without our support from friends, family, and the community we would have not known about all the tips and tricks of cancer as we do today. Without being introduced to a man who lived all the way in Texas, we would have never known about a study for Trey’s tumor.
In the last two weeks we have had two people close to us diagnosed with cancer, one hitting closer to home than we would like. Trey’s father was diagnosed with leukemia last week. Although we have gone through this personally it seems to be harder being on the outside. Although it is an uncomfortable feeling, the universe (apparently) knows that our family is strong enough to endure this test. For all of those going through one of life’s exams – you are not alone and you are stronger than you know.
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of those depths”
~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross