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Love On Display

Last weekend my husband and I attended an engagement party. The last of his brothers is planting roots and becoming their own unit. It was dreamy, whimsical and very much “A Love on Display”. The venue was curated with love poems and every detail radiated the couples journey. The couple shared with us some of their intimate details over the years. We read cute love notes, and journal entries, and adored all the old pictures and other memories the couple and family brought to share, with a few pieces bringing everyone to tears. The exhibit showed off not just their love mutually but the love from their family and what has helped mold their love. It was so special.

As I was in line for the bathroom a young girl was standing in line as well. A gentleman, who I still see as the 13-year-old boy when I met this family, came up, and the girl and he started chatting. Amazing what standing in line for a bathroom, especially slightly intoxicated, brings out the most beautiful conversations. As I listened in on their conversation before a stall opened, I felt their conversation in my soul. Right before I was able to go into the bathroom the girl looked the gent in the eye and said “I love that we are all seeing each other again. It’s like a big reunion.” I turned to smile at her, and I saw she wiped a tear away from her face. I went back to sit with Trey and it was like déjà vu, every wedding, funeral, and big life event those are the same thoughts I have. At our wedding, someone told me the next time I would have all these same people in a room together would be at one of our funerals, and that has stuck with me since.

Since our wedding in July 2013, we have attended weddings, baby showers, funerals, and other life events in between, and every time I say and feel exactly how that girl did. Loved seeing all the familiar faces, some I hated seeing due to circumstances, but overall was always very happy to see old friends that tied to pieces of me. I have previously touched on a blog about still needing friends from different walks of life. I find that important, even if I don’t get to see my single girlfriends, and my married friends without kids as much as I’d like or even see my closest friends and family as I much like. Lives are busy for people and we all go in different directions but those friendships one has where you can pick back up after 5, 10 and even 15 years of seeing each other are truly magical. I miss my friends dearly, but I would also be lying if I didn’t say I enjoy doing absolutely everything with my husband and kids. That’s why you get married and make minions right? To have someone to be with 24/7 and no privacy.

Our ride home was with an Uber driver and it was weirdly one of the most enjoyable rides I have ever had. That includes some really fun ones from previous bachelorette parties, but different fun IYKYK. The driver chatted with Trey and me the entire drive back. We talked about family, kids and of course where we were coming from. We were bragging about how we were excited to go home and he said that the night was too early. That’s when we hit him with something he didn’t expect, “we like to be home”. He then came back with something that we did not expect, “You guys appear to have the perfect relationship. Very balanced and genuine.” We both had a chuckle as we know relationships aren’t perfect, EVER. We have had our ups and downs but somehow have always had the drive to want to work it out. He pried a bit on our life but we kept it surface level for the most part, but he ended by thanking us for one of the best drives he has had as an Uber driver over the years. Then we walked into kids screaming because they didn’t want to go to bed. Balance, ya know.

The next day we made a slow morning and for the first time in years, I was able to watch my favorite Sunday morning show, Sunday Morning on CBS. Well the kids had the TV for most of the morning, but I got the last 20 minutes of it (counting it). The (one) segment I watched was on Valentine’s and the big three words “I LOVE YOU”. It was an uplifting segment for the most part, but it was actually what stemmed the creativity to write this. In the segment, it talked about how love was the opening to vulnerability. The host made jokes about how people have tried to make it less vulnerable by saying things like “wuv you”, “Luv ya man” or “Your my boy blue!” Just kidding on that one, but blue you’re my boy! Talked about how the alternative wasn’t as “heavy” as the actual truth of telling someone “I love you”. I am aware not everyone is an affirmation and there are PLENTY of other ways of showing love, but I agreed with the host of the segment. Hearing I love you in full proper form is superior to the alternative verbals that have been generated over the years.

This is interesting, because I never saw love meant being vulnerable. There are some loves that I would not think meant being vulnerable, such as a love for a pet or a child. It was just something I thought was “natural”. It had me circle back and reflect on my marriage and again the love art exhibit that was an engagement party. Vulnerability is love, maybe not in the dictionary since but it is. The couple shared some of their most beautiful vulnerable moments with us. This opened the door for us to be a part of their love story, but most importantly it opened the door for each of them to better understand each other coming in a space of no judgment but just love. My husband and I wouldn’t be here where we are if we could not have been vulnerable and honest with one another. Some people are naturally vulnerable, I like to believe I fall into that category which may be why I never saw it as vulnerable but just honesty. I say things that make people uncomfortable but it’s always coming from a place of honesty, curiosity, and love; I am also an external processor which adds to the experience. For some people, it takes years of work and practice to be able to open up and share their heart. I am so thankful for all of the people whom I have met in my life who have shared, or were afraid that they were oversharing their vulnerabilities with me and allowed me to walk the walk beside them. I am blessed to have a husband who has and will always be my solid base camp, where we can now talk about anything and everything without hesitation. I know none of this was overnight and has been a work of time with our 14-year relationship, but man am I so thankful that I can be vulnerable with my person and the people that have allowed me to share my vulnerabilities along the way.

To those who will read this, I love you and I am thankful for the opportunity to walk beside you in LOVE. Life is too short not to tell your friends and other loved ones how much you love them. Say it loud, say it a lot, and tell that person how much you love them. Just like the theme of the engagement, we should all be able to put our love on display every day.


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