My promise as a Boy Mama
This week "Me Too" statuses took storm in the U.S. The point of these statuses were to raise awareness about sexual harassment and assault. Putting it out there to give a sense of the magnitude of the REAL problem. Not sure who started it, but I am glad SHE did.
As I scrolled through Facebook and other social media platforms, I saw so many. So many that it gave me goosebumps. Some I knew, some I didn't, and some I was hoping to see, but they didn't post. A few women were sharing their stories, other just leaving a statement of "Me too," just as I did. 15 years later, I still remember that night, still remember what I wore, how I felt, the smells, every single detail. This was the night I realized "NO" did not mean a damn thing. I am not going to share the details of my story, as I have moved on. However, I will share how hard it was afterward. How I felt gross, and uncomfortable with who I was for a very long time. The hours of crying myself to sleep, to where my body felt numb. When I finally started to digest what happened and talk about it, was when the real nightmares started.
The responses from fellow females were horrifying, things such as "You aren't pure anymore," "Why would you put yourself in that situation?" or worse "How'd it feel?". I was considered a liar, even though the person who did this to me was bragging about it while getting high fives from his fellow mates. I was treated as if I was asking for it, or I had some fetish of being raped. Worst of all, I truly cared about this person, and I thought he cared about me. Fortunately, I have a bittersweet ending, this person went to jail, as he became a repetitive offender, and it is now branded on his record.
Many years later, I remember still feeling uncomfortable around men. I would try and keep them as "guy friends" to protect me but always knew I could not let my guard down. I would still be the sober one hanging out at a party at 4 am because I would fear what would happen if I was too intoxicated. The nights I would get "turnt" I knew what to expect. I would watch it happen, not just to me but to others. What was worse and what I am most ashamed of, I would turn away. I did not help my fellow ladies when I should have. By the time I started sticking up for myself and fellow ladies; fully accepting it was not my fault, or any women's fault, I was considered by many a BITCH. Fine. I wear that crown loud and proud.
I feel the universe gave me my two boys for a reason. This is my promise to every "Me too," every girl mama, and anyone else that sees the real issue here. My boys will always respect their female (or male) counter parts. My boys will never "cat
call", make disrespectful remarks, or EVER touch without consent. They will address their minds, and their inner beauty, rather only seeing their bodies as sexual objects. They will respect a women for what she really is, and what she has to offer, friendship. I promise that your daughters will be safe around my boys if (when) they party a little too hard. If they need help, my boys will be there to protect them. I promise my boys will never exploit their better halves, or put them in an uncomfortable situation. When the time comes, I will share my story with my boys. They will know the severity, and will know there will be hell to pay if I even hear a rumor about it. This is my promise to the universe. Thompson boys will be respectful gentleman.
"Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it." ~ Tori Ames